a**hole kids

This posting ran years ago on Craigslist. Recently a friend e-mailed it to me so I'm sharing it here. Although it's ranty, frothing at the mouth and a lot of it's garbage, some of it's sorta funny.
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asshole kids.

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Date: 2007-07-20, 2:01PM EDT

Kids-
I dont have kids. My friends dont have kids. My experience with little kids is fairly limited. However, i have fairly extensive experience with junior high and high school kids. And y'know what? They're spoiled, arrogant little assholes.

When I see some kid at the restaurant that wont take off his headphones or put away his PSP to eat dinner, I want to slap his parents in the face. When I watch Nanny 911 or Supernanny and I hear some beanbag housewife whining that she cant control her 3 year old, I want to kick my television set to the floor. When I hear some little crotchfruit at Meijers throwing a tantrum because he cant have a video game/candy bar/toy, I want to go up to him and scream at him as loudly as i possibly can, until my throat is raw and bleeding and i'm screaming a fine red mist all over this little shit's face.

What the fuck ever happened to discipline? NO MEANS NO. It doesnt even have to involve spankings, I was spanked maybe 3 times when I was a kid. Those 3 times were enough. YOU'RE the parent, YOU'RE the adult, YOU ARE IN CONTROL. I'm sorry, but if you're 30 and cant control a 3 year old you belong in a home with someone spooning applesauce into your stupid piehole. If you dont want to take the time to be a parent, dont have kids. It IS a choice, if abortion is against your beliefs then give the baby up to one of the thousands of couples who cant have kids but desperatly want them. (unless their gay, because we all know gay people cant raise babies. two people who love eachother are only allowed children if the peepees dont match.)

Parenting takes time and effort, I'm pretty sure on that one, and by time and effort I do NOT mean plunking them down in front of the television for 5 hours. It does not mean buying a 4 year old an X-BOX 360 so "he wont get bored." HE'S 4. A four year old can play with a box and some lawn chairs for hours on end, and be perfectly happy. However, when the kid is stacking the lawnchairs on the box and then trying to stand on top of it and falls, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SUE THE LAWN CHAIR COMPANY. You were supposed to be watching him, hell, maybe helping him build his fort, not sitting on your ass in the other room talking on the phone, painting your nails, and watching Dr. Phil. You are not entitled to monetary damages because you're an idiot. I wish I was a judge, I'd be like Judge Judy except with more profanity.

People, the world has been dumbed down enough. Stop freaking out and whining about television/music/games/movies and fucking it up for adults. You dont like the vulgar music your kids listen to? I agree, it's a little disturbing to have a 10 year old walking around singing "my humps" or "crazy bitch", so maybe dont buy them the cd's? I like the cd's and I'm 26 years old, but because of your bitching certain stores wont carry the cds I might enjoy.

You dont like violent video games? Quit waiting in line for 234231 hours the day after Thanksgiving to buy them x-box nine billion.

Does your 8 year old really need a shirt that says TEASE and itty bitty shorts that say JUICY on the butt? You want to paint her a big red sandwich board that says "PEDOPHILES PLEASE LOOK AT ME" while you're at it?

Exercise a little discipline and maybe some personal self-control. You dont have to buy them everything they ask for. Or, if some analogies might help you out here, quit digging your own grave, quit making the bed that you will sleep in, quit shooting yourself in the foot. Do not buy a video game and then freak out and attempt to sue video game companies because it "made" your kid attempt to torch your neighbors cat. Do some research. Wait, that might take up some of your Days of our Lives programming time, maybe try it at night, after you shoot your husband down for sex because you've been too tired "watching the kids" all day. He can sneak off to his laptop to look at porn, you can sit in the living room and actually try making yourself a better parent. It's so much easier to do that without those pesky kids around.

Fuck you and your whiny, spoiled, irritating, pussy kids.
(and before you email me saying YOU'RE NOT A MOTHER SO YOU DONT KNOW, realize that I dont care. Whether or not I'm a mother has nothing to do with how crappy you are as a parent. When I see your child, it's in public, where they should be on their best behavior. If this is how they act in public, good fucking luck with them at home.)

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 378284430

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The IQ Challenge

My thanks, again, to my friend Jellyfish for the tip-off:

Death of a Socialite

Brooke Astor, New York socialite, died today.

She was 105.

This image was taken of her when she was closing in on 100.

We should all look this fantastic. Or have such marvelous plastic surgeons.

Image compliments of Reuters.

Vacuum

Mucho thanks to my pal Jellyfish for sharing...

Michael Kors

I am oh-so-lucky to have an "insider" who lets fly on what's slated to appear in the latest Details Magazines because as it turns out, the edition hitting NY and L.A. newsstands tomorrow has something from designer Michael Kors.

And I like his stuff. I have one of his shirts, in fact. Simple, understated, sophisticated. Not me. The shirt. I've tried on but not purchased (Sorry, MK) his pants and summer linen shorts and...Yeah. Good stuff.

His bit in Details is a 10-point list of tips for men on fashion, being hip and looking good. A few of the choicer bits:

- If you want to pile on fashion, you have to be lean. I’m not skinny, so I can’t wear fashion with a capital F. You’ve got to be honest about your body. Anyway, unless they’re groupies, girls like guys who look like they have more substance than style.

- You should have a wardrobe of jeans in different washes and fits—from the pair that’s so comfortable you could work out in them to the pair that you can wear with a tie and a sports jacket to dinner.

- Cheesy music makes a party. Donna Summer or Madonna—that stuff gets people on the dance floor. Then you have to have junk food, done well, because that’s what everyone really wants.

- Women love men in color. Olive green and orange are the chicest colors in the world. Lavender and purple look great with gray and black. I hate Brady Bunch colors like teal and cranberry.

Grizzle

Last week I listened to a Terry Gross interview with acclaimed director Werner Herzog who spoke about his just-released film Rescue Dawn.

I haven't yet picked myself up to get to the cinema to see it. But I will. Because, as Gross put it, "it's a Werner Herzog film" and also because the synopsis sounds good.

Instead, I went to the video store and rented Grizzly Man, Herzog's 2005 award winning documentary chronicling activities of bear enthusiast Timothy Treadwell. Herzog talked about the documentary during his Rescue Dawn interview and I felt compelled to see it.

I read about Timothy Treadwell's tragic death in Newsweek years ago and was under the impression that he was an educated scientist who chose to live among Alaska's grizzly population for study purposes.

How wrong I was. Herzog's documentary incorporates interviews conducted with friends and family and Treadwell's self-shot video. The viewer gets quite a bit of exposure to Treadwell who often speaks directly to his camera; Shots of Alaskan forest, foxes and bears in the wild abound.

But much of the film is Treadwell. Treadwell talking to the camera, talking to the animals, shooting sequences of himself talking about the animals for a potential future film, Treadwell sermonizing or going on tangential, paranoid rants as he hides in the bush from 'human enemies hunting him down'.

My first thought in seeing Treadwell's on-camera opening sequence was: Oh my god, he reminds me of San Francisco's homeless drug addicts.

And as it turns out, Treadwell had addiction issues and was delusional. Not that anyone in the film uses the term "delusional" but 1) he was out in the wild encroaching on bear territory without arms, protection or an electric fence surrounding his camp 2) he deemed himself a "protector" of bears and got close enough to them to pet them 3) he was self-alienated from society

I was disgusted with Treadwell. And bothered by the fact that his then-girlfriend perished alongside him in 2003. I was also reminded of California and new age concepts of "brotherhood and equality" that all-too-often don't account for the natural order of things or life's imbalances. I slept fitfully after viewing the film.

Kudos, however, to Herzog's treatment of the subject and footage. He didn't condemn or judge and although Herzog listened (on camera) to the audio tape of Treadwell and his girlfriend being killed - their camcorder was running at the time - he chose not to share it with viewers. A very powerful decision that worked very well.

Treadwell was misguided. But as Herzog narrates in the film, he gave the world some very good footage of wild animals. Perhaps that was his calling.