Sherwood Forest, Tel Aviv

I generally enjoy complaining about Israel's service industry (sic) and pretty much anything else I can find to complain about. It passes the time and since that's what we're all doing on this great planet, anyhow - passing time until we end up at the same subway stop - why not?

Today I will be forthcoming for a change. It's the beginning of a new week.

On Friday Tel Aviv's municipality decided to put together a cultural event I describe as: "Sherwood Forest meets the Middle East". Lining Tel Aviv's Ben Gurion Boulevard were fairy-tale themed stations such as Robin Hood's tree cutting post, the wicked witch cave, Friar Tuck's wooden bridge, Maid Marian's magic dust den, etc.

Actor types dressed in Sherwood Forest regalia roamed while static gnomes, fairies, and princesses decked out in flowing robes with faces a-glitter, perched frozen atop skillfully concealed stilts.

There was avante garde street theater on a par with New York - I kid not - and where the forest ended, a display of locally created functional design works began. Some of that was pretty slick including hanging lamps crafted from plastic soda containers, a coat rack made of bicycle training wheels and a one-man pup tent created for the world's growing numbers of homeless. How they might afford to purchase the tent is another question.

Unfortunately I left my camera at home so I'm unable to share visuals. But put on your Robin Hood feathered caps and play the imaginary game for a moment and I'll bet you can conjure some images. Way to go, municipal powers that be. An afternoon well spent.

Architectural Genius

Conversation with friend of Yore, Tel Aviv cafe:

I had a business for a few years. A cafe. But the building collapsed. We were on the ground floor.

WHAT?!?! Was anyone killed?

Nah. A few were injured though. It was our fault, the collapse. We caused it.

Oh man. I don't know if I want to hear this. What did you guys do?

We removed a few of the center pillars so we'd have more floor space. We should've checked with an engineer before we did it. I guess they were holding up the entire building.

Thank God I Wasn't Here

I coffee'd today with an old colleague from the Reuters Jerusalem television days. My friend is still in the t.v. news biz but he now works with a different international network. He is faring well and is successful.

Playing catch up, as people tend to do, I sifted through names of former colleagues and he responded with updates on the where/what they're doing these days/whether they're still in television or not lowdown response to my queries.

When I mentioned a specific Palestinian co-worker/friend from days of yore, I was shocked to learn this person had been barred from entering Israel proper after the 2000 Ramallah lynching.

According to my coffee friend, he and an entire network of West Bank cameramen and journalists were accused of colluding to keep footage of the lynching under wraps so as not to incriminate West Bank residents who took part in the incident.

I am speechless for the moment. And of course I realize there are two sides to any story. And thank god I wasn't here because...well let's just leave it at that.

The Venus Mars Thing

Compliments of my friend Liz in San Francisco:

QUOTE OF THE DAY FROM THE NY TIMES:

"It's not that we 'could be' the weaker sex - we are the weaker sex. Even when men and women have the same disease, we often find that men are more likely to die."
DR. ROBERT TAN, geriatrics specialist in Houston

No Change

Place: Israel's National Opera House
Scene: Box office
Background: Attempting to purchase Tickets to Magic Flute Childrens' Opera Event

Oh sorry, we don't have change for a hundred shekels (approximately $25 U.S.)
Well...
You can either pay with a credit card or come back another time
Okay I'm starting to get a little bit angry here. I don't want to come back and I don't want to use a card. I want to get the tickets now with cash. That's why I'm here. You're a bleeding box office! You don't have change?
Would you like us to go get change at the coffee shop?

OMG!!! Breathe in. Breathe out.

Way to Go, Big E!

How genius was it for Ehud to publicly congratulate George W. on the "stability" he has brought to the Mid-East in the wake of the Iraq war/ordeal/long-drag-out-fiasco?

Nothing like endearing oneself to the Democrats who now wield power. And nothing to say of the miserable soldiers on the ground in Iraq who want the hell out.

And maybe I missed something in the small print but how does...

- Ahmadinejad's nuclear threat
- daily bombing and anarchy in Iraq
- Extreme poverty, infighting among political factions and routine rocket hits from Gaza
- the summer war in Lebanon

....add up to regional stability?

Silly me. I failed to notice the good will and calm. Group hug.

Extreme Kids

First of all, see my last post? What in the hell was I thinking when I signed up for Japanese? OMG I sat there with my tongue lolling in idiot land as the immersion course immersed right ahead without me. Lord Have Mercy.

On to a different subject. Walking in the park across from our new apartment, Raphael and I happened upon a group of teens practicing skateboard tricks on stone ramps behind the national Opera House.

Rapha motioned for us to sit so we did. We sat there for at least half an hour viewing assorted boys twist, jump, pause mid-air, contort and bank off stone benches. Some wiped out with such force that I groaned audibly, certain an elbow or arm had been broken. No one wore padding or helmets. Apparently uncool.

Rapha grinned. He was in child heaven. I want a skateboard for my birthday. Not a scooter. Don't get me a scooter mom. Get me a skateboard.

Lord it has happened and he's not even five.

When I was "can't see your toes anymore" pregnant with him, I came upon a similar but more intense scenario in a San Francisco park: Boys of all ages amassed for an Extreme Sport biking competition. Kids were literally doing multiple flips and twists in the air on their BMX's. I was terrified and asked a mother in the crowd how she could stomach watching her son compete. She said it wasn't easy.

The San Fran kids had helmets and padding. Would it matter if they wiped out mid-air and landed straight on their heads?

Develop the feminine side, that's what I say. What's wrong with playing quietly with dolls or having tea parties? Hmmm?

My mom's gonna kill me and then get onto the first flight out here. Don't worry ma, Rapha isn't trying on my dresses. Yet. (hee hee)