Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Cafe Security

When suicide bombings became de rigeur inside Israel at the turn of the century, most publicly accessed venues - restaurants, cafes, supermarkets, banks, etc. - began posting security people at entrances. Nowadays, nearly any place you go has someone standing or sitting at the front door wanting to take a peek through your bag or backpack or run a scanner over your body.

Don't worry, U.S. and Western countries you'll get there. It's a matter of time.

But what you won't get at your checkpoints is a certain, oh let's just call it Flair, commonly encountered oer' here yonder in Holy Land Central (HLC). Maybe you'd encounter it in Latin America or Italy or anywhere else I can think to stereotype.

Scene: Entrance to The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf
Dialogue: Moi-Self and Security Guard

Mr. Security: Are you married?
Moi-Self: Why are you asking?
Mr. Security: Because I think you're beautiful.
Moi-Self: Thanks. But yes, I am spoken for**
Mr. Security: Can I check your bag anyway?
Moi-Self: Gee, I'm not sure how to answer

**little white lies sometimes serve the moment

Flattering? Yes. Appropriate? Not really. Do I care? No.

Welcome. Have a Nice Day

1 comment:

Liza said...

The only security guards I ever exchange words with are those at the train stations (small wonder, since I have to pass them twice a day). It only becomes entertaining on the infrequent occasions when I'm asked if I have a weapon, which is usually followed by laughter on both parts.

Of course, during the period when I was still nursing, and pumping twice daily at the office, it was always amusing to see the looks on their faces whenever I answered the question of "what's in that plastic bag?" with "a breast pump and thermos". Talk about priceless...